My client Grandma asked me if I was gay

Hi everyone,

I’m a 23m, African American. I’ve met the grandmother back in early January bc my clients family moved in with them. For context, I’m not dressing/looking a certain way for her to assume this.

So today, I’m completing the session note, and the grandmother asks if I have a girlfriend. I said no, I don’t. Then she proceeds to say, “I know it’s not any of my business, but can I ask you a personal question?” I say, “Sure, what’s your question?”

She says, “Are you gay?” I said, “No, I’m not gay.” Then, she proceeds to question my response. She said, “Are you sure? I don’t judge; I don’t care if you are; I’m not going to be offended.” I told her again that I’m not gay.

Then, she asked if I got offended(I was), but I told her no. I decided to lie bc I thought I could potentially damage rapport with the family because I got offended. This made me feel very uncomfortable. My BCBA was supervising through my computer, but he just left before she asked.

I don’t understand why she asked me this question and proceeded to question me. I don’t see the correlation between providing ABA services to the client and knowing whether I’m gay or not.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? I’m thinking about telling my BCBA. Idk

Update: I told my BCBA about this. He said that it was disrespectful for them to ask that. Knowing whether I’m gay or not is not related to ABA. He said that I hadn’t done anything wrong or did something to warrant that question. He said I could address my concerns with the family, or he’ll talk to the family directly if it happens again. He said I’m an excellent RBT. Also, he said I’m within my rights to terminate services but hopes I’ll continue. I told him I’ll continue services and I may address it during my session today. I’ll ensure clear boundaries with the family and refrain from answering personal questions.

Thank you, everyone for your replies