Long time student: I hate how the Course tells me I feel the way I do because I want to

I hate the way I feel. I feel like I'm in a failing relationship that I've asked for help on for years and I don't ever get any clear guidance so I just stay in the relationship because when I try to think about leaving I don't get any guidance on how to leave. everything feels wrong. I hate how it tells me that this is what I'm choosing to feel--and I just I can't relate- I just can't.I feel like this is something I just can't figure out how to get out of or make it better make it holy. I really want to be with this person but I keep feeling treated unfairly. He doesn't work as much as me and I feel like the only one who cares about anything.

I can't emphasize enough how much I don't want to hear another empty "it's all for forgiveness" vapid airy fairy holier than thou bs reply. That's so vague it's not even close to helpful. It only makes me feel stupid for not having it figured out. Like I must be some hateful monster for not forgiving the person that I love the most.

I understand if this is too crazy to respond to I'm sorry brothers and sisters I'm just in a lot of pain 💔