How to train myself not to automatically disagree?
Lately I’ve been noticing an issue (aka many arguments) about me disagreeing with my spouse whenever they suggest something I should change. I don’t mean to do it, I just sort of start everything off with “I don’t know about that” or “I don’t think that would work for me”. I think it might be connected to my tendency to correct people frequently. Which is also a source of argument. It’s usually something little too. Like, someone says there’s three people in a store and I’ll be like “actually I think there were four people there” but it really didn’t matter. I sometimes don’t realize until it’s called out that I’m doing it. Last night they suggested that I use a free cloud service to save money on my iCloud+ and I immediately said “no, that doesn’t do everything that iCloud+ does like sync all my emails/photos/etc across my Apple devices” rather than something more reasonable like “I’ll look into it” or what I eventually came to which was “I could delete my thousands of unread emails and store any large files I have on Dropbox”. This resulted in them going to bed crying because they said that I made them feel stupid. That was never my intention and I tried to apologize and explain.
Does anyone have any tips for avoiding both correcting people and just automatically disagreeing with someone?
It’s to the point where I could see my spouse divorcing me. Not just for this but for my tendency to be messy/disorganized, get distracted, thinking everything takes 5 minutes to do but then taking two hours to do it, losing stuff frequently, etc. I have had these issues since childhood (I remember my father threatening not to buy me anymore jackets because I kept losing them) but hasn’t really been an issue because I haven’t been in a relationship for longer than a year.
I should point out that I haven’t been officially diagnosed. fairly certain I have ADHD but I can’t afford to confirm that. Not sure if you welcome undiagnosed people seeking advice.