AITAH for feeling judgmental/weird bc my super feminist friend had an affair with a married man?

First of all, the super feminist definition is not a jab, she indeed is an activist, works with non-profits and have a large social community within.

So now, some context. One of my (28f) best friends (31f) is a great person with an amazing capacity for empathy. She is funny, smart, and beautiful. She is also a very political person, and actively advocates for many causes, mainly women’s rights. We share these ideologies deeply, this is one of the reasons I love and respect her so much. We are very similar in our way of thinking about most things and our 3 year friendship proved that in almost every way.

One weird thing about my friend, and the life of me I cannot get this about her, she always choses the most sleazy, slimy fucking dudes to date. She is so self aware in every way but this, always reminds us our self worth and all the patriarchal shit, but when it comes to herself, out the window. I definitely understand knowing better but cannot acting better, but it happens almost every time. And they are just casual relationships, the usual is she starts to hookup with a dude, he acts extremely cave manish and toxic, she gives a big speech to him, saying she will never see them again. After a while dude reaches out, she finds out a excuse for him, hookup, and the cycle begins again.

So fast forward last week, we were supposed to meet for dinner and some drinks. She told me she will meet one of the shittiest dudes from the roaster before meeting me, I said okay. She delayed me 3 times that night bc she was drinking with him and eventually canceled. I was expecting it, said it was cool but ultimately was sad for her. She called me crying at 12am, I told her to come over and gave her tea and lots of love. She was super drunk.

Here comes the fucked up part. She goes on to tell me that 2 years ago she had an affair with a 45 year old MARIED man with 2 CHILDREN, for SEVERAL MONTHS. Now needless to say I was shocked, but didn’t give any reaction, just try to understand bc it was so bizarre. What even shocks me she goes on to tell me how she had feelings for this guy so she is having a hard time in current relationships. I am stunned bc she expressed no guilt or responsibility towards the wife, children like anything. This goes against her values and mine as well, like fucking weird. And her being sad about the man rather than the shitty thing she did is baffling me so hard I feel like I don’t know this person. Its so hypocritical. I did not say anything, I want to talk about it but there is no way if we get into it I will not judgy about this, its so fucked up. I don’t want to lose my friend but my opinion about her is definitely wounded, feel like asshole bc its over this one thing, everyone can make mistakes but I just cannot get over the feeling.

So, am I the asshole or this feeling is valid? Any advice?

Also, sorry for the long post lol, I wanted to give much context as I can.