AITA for not wanting to pleasure my husband as much as I used to?

My husband and I used to have the same level set drive. We used to literally go all night. We'd be having fun and his alarm would go off at 5am. A year after our wedding, I became pregnant with triplets, a girl and two boys. I really didn't know how to feel considering I had a miscarriage before with my ex, who then started cheating on me with a minor and one of his coworkers, and started being abusive towards me in various ways, making me think I was the problem and I was in and out of the psych ward because I tried to unalive myself.

I ended up losing the triplet pregnancy in the 2nd trimester, and haven't been the same since. I think I've come to terms with the fact that I most likely will never have the dream of being a mom, something I've wanted since I was 14. I started feeling like sex and being intimate was a waste of time since I couldn't get pregnant anyway, along with a nerve condition that ties in with the infertility conditions where I'm desensitized in certain areas of my body, including my privates. I don't really feel much during sex, and if I do, it's only when I'm really into it and wanting it. But ever since my miscarriage, I haven't been wanting it from my husband. I usually just wait till he falls asleep and take care of myself quietly and then go to sleep. I rarely think about it anymore, even though I know my husband wants it and gets uncomfortable after a while of not having any. I do often take care of my husband, but I feel numb the entire time. I still love him and don't want to leave him, but I also don't feel like I can talk to him about it without causing harm. Am I just an asshole about this whole thing?