My Brother-in-Law Physically Attacked My Boyfriend, and My Family Is Defending Him—What Do I Do?

I’m feeling completely devastated and alone right now. My boyfriend (Matt, 22M) and I (24F) were at my house—where my sister (27F) and her husband (Jake, 30M) are currently staying since they asked me—when something terrible happened.

It started when my boyfriend playfully tried to startle me as we were walking into the house. My sister laughed but then slammed a kitchen knife she was using onto the table and complained that we were always interrupting her show, just like her husband does. Then, my boyfriend jokingly “shushed” her in a playful way, and when Jake asked if we were arguing, my boyfriend lightly rubbed his head and casually said no before walking to my room.

Jake asked my sister if we were fighting and she said no, but Jake didnt believe her

Out of nowhere, Jake stormed outside, threw something aggressively, then came back in and physically attacked my boyfriend while Matt was on the phone with his mom. He pushed Matt, punched him, slammed him against the floor, and even choked him and headbutt him—all while my boyfriend was defenseless, confused, and calling out my name for help. His mom, still on the phone, was horrified, and he now has scratches and marks from the attack.

The worst part? My family is justifying Jake’s actions. My parents said Jake was just “defending his wife” and that my boyfriend was being “immature” for being upset and refusing to forgive him right away. My mom even told me that my boyfriend has the “mentality of a 15-year-old” and that I’ve lowered my standards by being with him.

Jake has now told me he “regrets” it and wants to fix things when my boyfriend is ready—but when I confronted him, he winked at me and said, “What are you talking about? You didn’t see anything. Who’s to say he didn’t do that to himself?’ Im your family, if anything happens you cant side with the enemy.” That moment made my blood run cold.

My boyfriend is traumatized, rightfully furious, and told me he never wants to have contact with my family again. He said he needs space from me right now because of how my family is treating him. His mother even suggested he take out a restraining order against Jake.

I love my boyfriend deeply, but my family is acting like he should just “move on” for the sake of our relationship, while he’s saying he can’t be around them. I feel like my relationship is falling apart over something that wasn’t even our fault, and my family doesn’t seem to care about how I feel.

Has anyone been in a situation like this? How do I navigate this when I feel so torn between my love for my boyfriend and the pressure from my family?