how do i stop eating?

pleade please please i was doing so well i didnt eat for like 10 days and it felt so good and now i cant stop eating so i make myself throw up and i know i omly got rid of half the food but then suddenly i want more i want more and i cant control it im so fucking hungry please how do i make myself not hungry again i never wanna eat again everytime i eat i feel disgusting and full and sick and i wanna throw up so i do and i hate throwing up the worst part is having to be quiet and hiding it and it hurts and i dont want to but i have to and i dont want to have to excercise so much im so sick of this please please please how do i stop eating i hate food it doesnt even taste good its disgusting why cant i stop myself i hate myself i hate my body i hate food this is why i didnt want to go back to my normal life bcs this is my normal life and im tired of it im so tired of it