AIO: I went through my husband’s phone

So for starters I don’t think I’m overreacting but I don’t have many friends and really need the reassurance that I’m doing the right thing. (The pictures uploaded backwards but I don’t have the energy to fix them) first two pics are from one girl the rest are his baby mama

So I (27F) have been with my husband (33M) for 6 years. The first year was full of back and forth with his baby mama. I don’t think he ever did anything physical with her but he would text her sexual stuff and call her baby and shit. We got through that, whatever.

In May of 2023, 3 days before my graduation from my masters program, I found out he had been seeing someone he worked with for over a year. He swore they only had sex once and that it wasn’t serious. She told me he got her pregnant. I believed him as he had a couple coworkers telling me she was crazy. We ended up getting back together. He joined the army in October and we got married in December of that year. I know I didn’t make the smart choice getting married so soon but he seemed to genuinely want to work on us and we had to be married for me to be able to move with him to another state on base and stuff.

So it’s now 2025 and I went through his phone and found him sexually talking to his baby mama again AND THE FUCKING GIRL HE WORKED WITH THAT HE CHEATED ON ME WITH.

He says he “didn’t feel connected to me” and that he was only talking to them that it’s just bullshit and doesn’t matter to him. He said he was manic.

For context I do have severe depression, anxiety, and self image issues. I do get in my head a lot and don’t show him the love I could but I feel like a lot of it feeds off of his actions, or lack thereof. On March 1st this year we went get dinner and I got all dressed up (which is something he asks me to do cuz he likes it when I dress up). That whole night I felt like he wasn’t paying attention to me and he couldn’t care less that I actually put on makeup and a nice outfit. When going through his phone I saw that on that night he was texting his baby mama and told her we were arguing, which we actually weren’t.

We would get into arguments frequently over him looking and following girls on Instagram and he would refuse to let me see his phone. All of our arguments surrounded him giving other women attention over me and him feeling like I don’t show him enough love.

We have a very active sex life, at least two to three times a week. I give him head and pretty much do anything he asks during sex. Even when we’re arguing or “aren’t connected” as he says we still have sex frequently.

I cook often. At least 3 times a week. I clean the house. I wash the clothes. I fold the clothes. I take care of our dog. I file our taxes. I physically pay the bills (since he joined the army he’s been paying for everything home wise but before the army most of the burden fell on me as he had to pay child support). He uses my car.

I’m just so overwhelmingly sad about the situation I’m in and I feel so fucked over and lost and disrespected. We’re in another state right now 1,000 miles (literally) away from my home state and I don’t know anyone out here so I don’t really have the option to get away easily. I don’t want to stay with him off of principle but I also cannot fathom losing 6 years of my life and getting a divorce. Y’all fucking pray for my dumbass please😭😭😭😭😭