AITA for asking my grandmother to change her tone when talking to me?

I am an autistic teenager who struggles with understanding tone and when people are joking or not. My grandmother likes to make jokes by taking on a very angry/upset tone with me and talking to me like I've done something wrong. This greatly upsets me and I tend to immediately go on the defensive when I'm certain I haven't done anything wrong.

Earlier this morning, she joked around with me like this again (I had forgotten to bring her something unimportant the previous night so she was jokingly upset with me) and I got very distressed because I thought she was genuinely pissed at me and that she was genuinely refusing my apology by telling me repeatedly that I 'wasn't actually sorry' when I was seriously apologising. She dropped the tone and laughed afterwards, telling me it was a joke and I needed to lighten up and learn how to take a joke. I, still distressed but speaking as politely as I could, asked her not to take that specific tone with me because I couldn't understand she was joking and it made me panic and go on the defensive, especially when my feelings were being denied repeatedly, and that it wasn't fun for me. Jokes are supposed to be funny and I wasn't laughing. She immediately snapped at me like I had just told her she was the worst person in the world, taking on a genuinely very angry tone, telling me I needed to 'grow up' and again, that I needed to 'learn how to take a joke and stop being silly.' When I tried to talk again, trying to mediate the situation, she repeated herself more angrily and I told her that I was just trying to reduce conflict between us because of how I respond to those 'jokes.' I left the room because I could see it wasn't going anywhere and we haven't spoken since.

I'm not really sure what to do, and if I am genuinely at fault here I want to know so I can work on my behaviour. This has been a bit of a repeated issue as I've asked something similar of my father and it exploded into a massive fight that resulted in me getting shouted at and leaving in tears, and everyone in my family (excluding my mother) taking my dad's side. I initially didn't see anything wrong with me asking this of either of them because I'm just trying to communicate in a more healthy and productive manner with them both, but now that it's become a repeated issue I'm starting to doubt that. I've asked my friends and they've said I'm not wrong to ask that of them, but I thought to come here for an unbiased opinion. I'm sorry if this is very all over the place, I've never made one of these before.