I feel like this application process didn’t do me justice.

Hi, I really needed to let this out somewhere. I’m from Turkey, and up until last summer, I didn’t even know I could apply to colleges abroad without going to college first here in Turkey. Since then, I’ve barely gotten any sleep, and the stress has taken such a toll on me that I’m experiencing medical issues. I worked so damn hard.

I come from a small city—I had to move here during COVID. My entrance exam for Turkish high schools went badly, so I ended up at a small private school with a scholarship. From freshman year, I was the student council president, constantly putting in effort that even my friends questioned me for trying so hard to please everyone.

Because I wanted to make a difference. And I did.

I raised countless funds and renovated village schools, classrooms, libraries, and gardens. I raised money for sick children, animal shelters, women shelters, people affected by earthquake. I organized national holiday events, sports competitions, school fairs—sometimes every single week. My school didn’t even have clubs before I founded them. I had to reach out to teachers, coordinate spending, and build everything from scratch.

All while keeping my grades up.

I have a 99/100 GPA. A 1540 SAT. I developed an app for my school with coding professors. I worked as a lifeguard, swim teacher, assistant accountant, and barista—not just for the experience, but to improve myself. I coached a swim team that I created and won multiple regional and national awards. I hosted and acted in school performances while organizing everything backstage. I taught free coding and Blender classes because I wanted to share my knowledge.

And I did all of this alone.

Nobody helped me with my SAT prep. Nobody helped me with my college applications. I had to teach my teachers how to write recommendation letters. I poured everything into this process—I wrote the best essays I’ve ever written in my life. And yet, here I am.

I know I didn’t have the money for elite internships or expensive extracurriculars. But should that really be what defines me? Should applying for aid be a reason to overlook everything I’ve done? Meanwhile, I see students from big cities getting into top schools with 50 counselors and unlimited resources.

After last night, I feel crushed. I got rejected from MIT, UVA, and UChicago—two of them were my absolute dream schools. I only got into my safeties, and I need scholarships to study in the U.S. My country doesn’t provide funding for students going abroad, yet they hand out full ridescholarships with like a shit ton of pocket money to international students who come to study here.

I feel like I deserved so much more. Or maybe… not even more—just fairness.

I have a tiny spark of hope left for Princeton because my interview went really well, but at this point, I don’t even know what to think.

If you made it this far, thank you. Really.