Husbands- would you rather have a career driven, high earning wife or a SAHM?

My husband and i both work pretty demanding jobs. He is an engineer and i am in the military. we have 2 toddlers boys and we both want more kids. I just have a hard time seeing logistically how to comfortably raise my kids how i want to with my career and lifestyle. I have been thinking about giving it all up and being a SAHM. I want a little farm/homestead and to just be a mom. We have chickens already and i want some goats and mini cows with a massive garden. I want to support my husband in his career aspirations. I just want to be the submissive nurturer to my husband and really really raise my kids… me leaving my career will be a hit to the household financially but i think we could make it work. My husband doesnt do well with change so he is hesitant to the idea. I want to ask men maybe who have experienced both, or maybe just have some perspective what do you think? Would u rather have the income/benefits? Or a SAHM for your kids and a housewife to you?