What is the best “Jay from Inbetweeners” level brag you have ever heard?

I was just reminded of the time a mate (who had bailed out of a night out early to go meet his scary girlfriend) tried to make out that the reason he hadn’t made it to the club with us was because the bouncers at the club had refused him entry for being “too good looking”. We all know people that are full of it, whats their worst lie?