Special interests

Apologies if there doesn't seem to be a point to posting this, but I can't talk about my autism with the majority of the people in my life.

I have gone through life swapping from one special interest to another, like a relay race. Some would only last a few weeks to months, a few have lasted years, and plenty have repeated. But I've always had 'something'.

I currently have nothing, and it's leaving a real void in my life. Being in severe burnout/have possibly developed chronic fatigue syndrome (awaiting further tests and an assessment) isn't helping, as I have little motivation or energy for engaging in things that are just passionate hobbies of mine, like jigsaws.

My special interests could at times be problematic, as I can get very obsessive. But without a special interest life feels pretty boring. The last thing I was super into was researching autism after my diagnosis. It's still an interest but has been spoilt beyond repair by the self-diagnosers and other cretins. It's more stress than interest now.

Anytime something interests me I get hopeful, but so far nothing, and you just can't force it. My special interests have always felt like an anchor in life, I'm now just drifting on the currents.

I have plenty of superficial interests, and I'm doing my best to just enjoy those when I can, but no special interest.

Has anyone else experienced months or more without a special interest?