Looking for person with BPD’s perspective

Hello reddit! Firstly, I’d like to clarify that I haven’t been officially diagnosed. Something has very much not been right since I was like 11. And I’ve been genuinely tweaking on-and-off within last few months. I wanna sort my brain out or, at least, figure what I am onto. I am planning to see a professional. However, so far all I’ve had was an AI therapist that suggests I might be struggling with BPD, but I don’t really wanna self-diagnose based on that. Just wanna see actual BPD person’s POV on my situation?

Thank you <3

I feel like the biggest reason the AI therapist linked me straight to BPD was because I mentioned feeling empty, not necessarily in depression kind of way, more as in ‘I do not know who I am as a person or what my favorite song is’. I have the tendency to make up personalities as I go, take them either from movies or make my own original characters that I then mimic personality-wise and even looks-wise.

The missing sense of self terrified me, but not as much as the memories of when I get emotional and what I am capable of during such moments.

Recently I’ve gotten very upset over something very small (no voices raised nor aggression as I look back at it now), in me however, the small disagreement triggered the idea that my parents have never loved me as much as they love my younger sister. I got angry, so angry I couldn’t think, screamed at my sister to kill herself and stormed off into my room cause I had an idea that something was wrong as soon as the words left my mouth. I love my sister, she is the sweetest soul and our parents favoring her is not her fault at all. I would never purposely hurt her. Storming off into my room I still couldn’t shake off this overwhelming sense of anger. When I get angry I get the urge to hurt either myself or others. I don’t wanna hurt others though, so whenever this feeling gets to me I just go punching the wall or relieving it in ways alike to ventilate the strong emotions. I can’t tell for how long I’ve been tweaking out in my bedroom, but I ended up ordering three pizzas for absolutely no reason. Hours later I am calmer, though still alert, sitting in my room and eating the pizza. I am feeling pissed about myself for randomly buying stuff. I am ashamed for recklessly getting such an outburst of emotions. It’s like I cannot control it.

Sometimes I get mood swings that are not related to anger whatsoever at all. They remind me more or less of God complex and I am so ashamed of myself whenever I am feeling normal again. Once again feels like something that I wish I could’ve realised before I did something I’d regret but I genuinely can’t.

Normally, I like to spread kindness and treat everyone with respect, especially those I love the most. I just feel like something must be wrong with me and I wanna fix it for the sake of my loved ones.

Can those all be symptoms of BPD? Any assumptions of what might be wrong with me are welcome actually, I know we all are just guys on internet and most of us aren’t professionals, so I will be seeing a psychologist in a few weeks. Just curious about other people’s POV if it makes sense?

Edit: I am a 20 years old male, I believe I am beyond puberty and don’t think I can blame my moodswings on hormones