Just another restless night

It’s midnight, and I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend I’m scared I’m going to hurt myself. I started opening up to him about my insecurities and ended in “I’m scared..” before being cut off with “damn it, why are you crying it’s the middle of the night.” He comforted me after, and I was quick to just shut up and pull myself together. I don’t know how much he heard prior to me crying, but I know for a fact that it just made me feel more invalidated by him than I already felt. I know I was just splitting beforehand, so I’m sure the feeling will go away, but for now I’m scared, tired, invalidated, and extremely hurt.