How much attention is too much to ask for?

My bf and I are long distance. He is visiting me right now, and I expected him to be very doting considering the time we’ve spent apart and not know exactly when we’ll see each other again. But he’s not exactly been the most affectionate, not completely distant, but when I compare the affection level to what I had in previous relationships where we weren’t even long distance it doesn’t compare. Part of me thinks it is because my current bf is more mature and emotionally reserved so he doesn’t feed into my bpd symptoms like my exes who would coddle me. He said to me he feels as if sometimes I treat him like a “s*x doll” except with the purpose of providing constant attention. I understand that I can want a lot of affection, but I also feel like he withholds it from me. He conveniently treats me the way that I want when he does something obviously wrong though. How do I decipher what is my BPD having an unfulfillable desire for attention and what is actually not being treated right??