Can we make it work ?

I (33F) have been in a relationship for about 7 months. In the past 3 months we have had some arguments but normally settle them quickly. During those arguments my go to is “so are we breaking up “

We had an argument last night where I made the same comment and now he is saying he’s lost trust in me and it seems like I just want him to break up with me.

I have tried to explain that’s not the case and it’s a self preservation tactic. I know it’s not fair or right to say this to him every time we argue but as I’m sure you understand it’s so much harder to regulate during intense emotional times.

So I’m just wondering has anyone else been in that kind of cycle of fighting and thinking about breakups but not wanting to actually break up ? And were you able to break the cycle and if so how ?