Smoking while pregnant

Hi there, I (31) pregnant at 10 weeks for the first time, very passionate smoker normally, find it extremely difficult to stop smoking completely. Even though in the past I have stopped in order to become pregnant and actually that period lasted two years, right now I find it almost impossible. I know all the reasons why I should stop, all the dangers, everything. I’m m not delusional that im doing something beneficial. The circumstances though make it very difficult for me to stop completely even though I’ve really really tried. I have now minimised at about 3-5 cigarettes per day, there are days though when I’ll smoke 1 or 2. My family and friend circle they were all smoking smoking while pregnant and they had zero problems either them or the babies, I know doctors who say it’s better to smoke a few than wanting it and not having it because the withdraw gets to the baby too. Also my profession is a cook in a big kitchen hitting 15 hour shifts amid other smokers.

The problem is that my boyfriend is against that and even though we are very well communicated as for the body autonomy etc, he is a feminist and never ever tells me what to do, this time around he is very scared that I’m harming the baby and he read some articles of a research that the babies of smokers the get short limbs or weird development anyway and that scared the shit out of him and he every time pushes me to stop, he is looking me with that disappointed look or he tells me again and again of his wish for me to not smoke and that he feels uncomfortable seeing me smoke etc. Important to note somewhere here that he is also a smoker, never had a problem with me smoking and he only now feels it’s a huge problem.

I feel horrible. I don’t feel supported from my boyfriend and I don’t know how to deal with that and he’s filling me with so much extra guilt. And I reply cannot stop.

Any advice? Is anybody else going through something similar? And I don’t need a “talk” about how bad smoking is, thanks.