Are you actually connecting with your partner when you dance?

TL/DR - it doesn't matter how good your technical skills are, you're not a good dancer if you can't make a connection with your partner.

At a social last night (Osaka, Japan) that attracts a high level of dancer, two Italian tourists joined. Both looked to be incredibly-skillful in the technical sense, successfully leading the most-intricate body-isolation moves with people they'd never seen before, etc. Technically, perhaps the best in the room.

But they were a study in opposites.

One clearly danced with his partner, fully engaged not just physically but mentally. The result of this connection was a big smile with frequent eye contact for both, so both could see how each other respond. They were fully present with each other for the duration of the song. It was lovely to watch, and I spent much of the night doing so.

The other clearly danced at his "partner". There was no connection except the physical. Other than for a few seconds toward the end of a song, his gaze would literally not even be able to take in his partner, as it appeared that he normally just zoned out and stared off in some random direction with all the passion of someone vacuuming under the bed. It was surreal. He appeared to have such amazing technical skill, but not the slightest concept of what pair dancing is.

The former spent all night being asked to dance. The latter spent all night asking others.

A skillful-follow friend said that the first guy was amazing, but that the second guy's lead was hard to read. Technically he seemed good, but I guess the lack of connection made it difficult and only the high level of the follows allowed him to appear to be as good as he seemed to be.

If you're like me (a lead not particularly advanced in the technical sense) you might worry that your dance will be boring, but I tell you: drop the level even further so that you can spare a big chunk of your concentration on the person you're with, instead of just trying to crank out moves like a robot. Your partner will enjoy the dance so much more, and so will you.