Are meds just a placebo?

Full disclosure here I’m having an episode and have been off my meds for the last month but I somehow convinced myself after several rounds of meds tjat gave me horrible side effects (i got lithium poisoning last year, Ive also gained 60lbs in the last year and a half and am already losing weight since I got off my meds) that meds are just a placebo with only horrible side effects.

I really just need someone to tell me they actually will make people better so I can start taking them again. I don’t see my psych until next month and honestly I don’t believe my psych is going to tell me anything besides that I should take my meds because of course that’s what a psych would say. I am having paranoia and I don’t trust him at all