Please pray I make it through tomorrow

Tomorrow I’m going to court virtually where my ex will testify against me to get a restraining order. I deserve one but I don’t know how I’ll make it through court without bawling my eyes out. The biggest kicker is my court appointed attorney didn’t even reach out to me. Anyways, I got approved for a thirty minute break out of work to take the call and then have to return like nothing happened. I’ve been breaking down at work and today I was crying at the park. Thankfully I have a lot to be grateful for so it’s keeping me alive. Worst manic episode ever.