what made you realize it wasn’t normal ?

so i am pretty sure i have some form of cptsd- ( trying to get diagnosed but most therapists are trash so its an ongoing thing for me)

my symptoms stem primarily from my past relationship which was extremely emotionally abusive. as i’ve been grieving this relationship for the past year, in the last 6 months, after close observation of my symptoms, im realizing i dont think this is normal, run of the mill breakup things. like theres no way the way i feel is normal, or expected with a break up. my question to everyone is: what was/were the symptom(s) that made you realize this wasn’t normal relationship grieving? what made you think oh this might actually be clinical? for me the give away is the flashbacks.. like there’s no way it’s normal to have full, stop-in-your-tracks panic attacks because a memory popped into your head ? right?