I can’t do it anymore

My wife and I have been together for 10+ years. We are both 26. We have 2 children together. I love her but I don’t know how much more I can do it. I love every part of her except her lack of intimacy and emotional availability. She won’t let me touch her, she won’t give me more than a peck on the lips. Every time I hug her, I can feel her tense up and push me away. Whenever we are intimate, she rolls her eyes and says “ughhh just hurry up”. Since having children (3.5 years ago) she has had severe pelvic congestion that makes it extremely painful to have sex. So I understand her apprehension but when I ask her for other things, she typically says no and when she says yes, I have to beg her and if I tell her what I like or want her to do, she immediately stops and says “okay then I’m not doing it”. These issues have been since the beginning of our relationship, not just since having children. She’s been a Christian her whole life, I have only been saved for 2 years. I have developed a severe addiction to p*n because of this. I do not want to divorce her and have some other dude raise my kids. I know divorce isn’t permitted unless someone is unfaithful. If I’m being honest, it is EXTREMELY hard to be faithful. Probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve been pursed by different girls in the past and have always immediately shut it down. Now it’s getting to be more than I can handle. I constantly compliment her, I constantly tell her I love you. I constantly tell her how much she means to me. I tell her all the time that I need more from her and nothing changes. I tell her that I don’t want to have sx so let’s just cuddle and kiss and hold each other and she never will. She always makes me feel like it’s my fault and that I need to get over it. I’m so lost. I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed. I can’t do it anymore. Someone please give me real advice.