I Got CALEB BANNED FROM HINGE, BUMBLE AND TINDER AND IM NOT SORRY
Sharing my story because despite what He has claimed it was A REAL person Who went on a REALLY horrible date with him and reported him to the apps
No im not a devoted hater or fan Im just a girl who lives in Austin looking for a boyfriend who made the mistake of going out with him. This is the very brief overview of what happened
I matched with him and we met up for a date. This was a few weeks ago. Everything seemed fine he was nice, dorky and in my opinion cute. We were supposed to go out to eat where we met but it was an early time for dinner so he asked if I wanted to hangout at his place for a little bit before dinner. I was definetly apprehensive about this as I literally just met him but he said he live really CLOSE by and wasn’t looking to hookup just to hangout for a bit until we got hungry. I agreed. Keep in mind he said he lived close by He said He had no intention of hooking up I guess I also had more trust because he was more of a well known person who seemed to be very careful. I should note that while I’m not personally a fan/ just hadn’t really seen his content other then a few shorts and a video a while ago of graham Stephen who I am a big fan of reacting to him. He told me him and graham were like best buds so idk why but that did make me trust him more. He also hadn’t given me any indication of being creepy he was nice and funny. This changed very quickly once we started driving. He put his hand on my upper thigh and I quickly pushed it off and said I’m not ready for that. He said oh sorry you’re just so attractive whatever… and I said “it’s okay”
A couple minutes later he put his hand back and I said “what are you doing?” I had literally just told him no. He said 0oh I thought you said it was okay” So I had to clarify that I meant it was okay that it happened not Im okay with it. At that point I started getting really nervous and realizing I didn’t really know anything about the person I was in the car with but I didn’t want to over react and maybe he had really just misunderstood my very clearly stated physical boundaries.
But still I suggested we not go to his house and maybe go somewhere more neutral to do a more “date-like” activity. To which he started saying well there’s not really anything to do around here. Mind you we were in Austin like in the middle of downtown. He also told me oh there’s a bit of traffic so it will be a bit further to get to the house. Mind you he had said he lives REALLY close by. It was THIRTY minutes away. Each one of these things isn’t like the end of the world but together all these red flags were making me nervous.
After we finally got to the house I was just hoping my anxieties were just me being nervous and everything would be fine. Oh boy was I wrong because it only got much much worse.
We initially were going to watch TV but we couldn’t because the couch was covered with a sticky substance. I don’t know what it was but it was all over the entire couch seemed like a sticky oil substance and he blamed the dog walker but like I said I have no idea. That also stood out to me as weird but on its own not totally crazy but like I previously said all the things that seemed off were really pilling up.
After he asked me if I wanted the tour of the house and I said yes ,sure whatever I was kind of already trying to to stay calm. As we walked through the house he started bumping into me conveniently to kind of like feel me up basically. Just for like a second or so and I feel like I didn’t even have time to react. Like grabbing my ass and stuff. Also I think an important thing to note is there was no normal build up of romance or even like any romantic connection. He had made zero attempt to kiss me or hold my hand. Or even really flirt so the feeling up thing was bizzare. Anyway on the “tour” he had hit one of those buttons that makes all the blinds come down again not like a big deal but it was getting hella ominous in there. So the “tour” ends in his bathroom where he asked me to take a bath in front of him. Like straight up as if that was a normal thing to do. He asked by telling me he can separate himself from his sexuality. I was like ummm what does that mean.
At this point I was full on fuxking scared shitless
He just said again I can separate myself from my sexuality. And I said “NOO I don’t want to take a bath” with a guy I met 30 mins ago is crazy.
Also keep in mind I’m looking for a relationship my profile was clear in that
I WAS CLEAR ON THAT
He was clear before I agreed to get in his car that he was NOT TRYING to HOOKUP
After that he seemed so confused on why on earth I wouldn’t want to do that totally normal request for him. He said well I have a bathing suit for you to wear. Like okay that doesn’t make it better.
At that point I said “I’m okay thanks” and basically ran around him out of the bathroom into the kitchen.
He followed me out and was like “ idk why you wouldn’t want to do that but okkk”
I was just kind of freaking out internally like fuck what do I do This guy has me 30 mins away from anyone I could text to get me.
He then walked up behind me and started massaging my shoulders and was like “well why don’t I give you a message since you’ve never gotten one before. Yeah let me grab my oil”
I started thinking about the couch being all covered in oil and I looked to the side of me and there was a camera pointed towards where we were and the couch and internally I was like OH FUCK
So I moved away from him and went to the other side of the island (we were in the kitchen at this point) And said “you are making me REALLY uncomfortable right now”
And he was just like no I’m not why would you say that basically going through the same mental gymnastics he had been using with the leg thing in the car.
He said “ why are you backing away from me”
I have to point out that if you are ever in a situation where you have a girl alone with you and she says you’re making me uncomfortable making take some time to reflect on it. Really think to yourself why she might possibly be doing that.
He then was basically berating me Saying like “why did you want to come here?!?”
As if I had come up with the idea
“Are you a sexual “
“ are you a sexual person “
He asked those both over and over
He kept saying “ I can’t read you “
“When’s the last time you had sex”
“How long did you wait to have sex”
“What is the loudest you’ve ever been?”
THESE ARE NOT NORMAL questions
While also maintaining that he was NOT trying to hookup with me and I was CRAZY for thinking he was
He actually promised me that he wasn’t trying to sleep with me in that moment and it was crazy because he’s also insisting
He literally had two storylines going at once and I was just trying to keep things calm and convince him to bring me somewhere else
He was getting more and more mad and said he didn’t want to go out after he just drove 30 minutes there
Which is crazy because I wouldn’t have gone there had I known it was 30 mins away. He purposefully misled me to believe he lived close by.
He was really mad and was just like “ I’ve given you plenty of things to do here”
Keep in mind the “things to do” were option A. Take off your clothes and take a bath maybe in some bathing suit with an unknown history
OR
B. Get an oil massage - which I assumed would come with some other need clothe removal and possibly have something to do with the sticky couch
Anyway I thought about grabbing my bag and running out the door but honestly I didn’t know if I’d make it and at this point I just wanted to keep it calm and not have him get more angry.
You could definitely tell I was scared though because he asked if I was cold and I looked down and my body was shaking.
Anyway I kept trying to nicely say “hey let’s go out go bowling or something” or “I’m hungry now so let’s get food”
I started putting on my shoes and was like are you ready to go and he just sat down and looked at me angrily.
So I was like okay well can we walk outside you know and grabbed my bag and started towards the front door he agreed. We started walking down the street and there was like nothing I had kind of thought maybe if there was a fast-food place or something I could convince him to go inside and just lock myself in the bathroom idk
It was also getting dark out so I couldn’t see very far. And we were just walking on the street.
We walked a little bit and he pointed out this super over grown path and he said “that’s a nice walk that’s definitely not where I’d kidnap and murder you”
I think he was just kidding but at this point who knows. But I was trying to keep things CHILL So I said “haha I’m okay I don’t want to get my white shoes dirty”
Internally I literally had started praying like God please help me I don’t know what to do
At that point I think he just gave up lol because he said you know we’re not really vibing why don’t you get an uber home
I was just like “oh no that’s too bad” but also happy because you know I was getting to leave
I will say though it is REALLY REALLY messed up to bring a girl 30 mins away at that point I was almost 40 mins away from where I lived just to make her uber home. Like any decent person who have just brought me back to where we met. But honestly at that point it was kind of the least of my concerns.
I followed him back into the house and got an uber. He did offer multiple times to pay for it but I literally did not want his money. The person who got my trip like the uber driver was super super sketchy lol and I was like fuck I don’t want to get in this uber. Like I’m not going to survive Caleb Hammer to idk. But while we were waiting he was just kind of like “smoothing things over” I guess He basically told me he had been trying to hookup with me (um yeah obv I’m not stupid) But it’s actually my fault for using Tinder.
(Ummm okay except we had actually talked about it first but whatever)
I jsut kind of went along with whatever he said at the end. And when I was booking my uber I actually sent my mom my location just because I has been afraid to do it before when he was watching me.
But he was like “you’re not uncomfortable?” And I said I’m not uncomfortable
He said “you’re not going to doxx me “ Which obviously I’m not But anyways stuff like that
And then AFTER all that bullshit this man has the audacity to ask me on a second date
He told me he actually doesn’t like hooking up and it makes him feel bad( no shit if this is how you do it tf)
He said he’s actually looking for a wife and said “you’re really attractive” and it would be a different experience like for girls he meets on hinge or something
Like I passed some insane purity test
And I was honestly just in shock like this whole situation was so insane to me I just said “idk abt that”
And he was like that’s totally fine you don’t have to
And then Proceeded to insult my hair like saying my roots were really fucking grown out
Which in all fairness he was right I’m not going to argue with that but definitely shows his maturity I guess.
After that he basically told me that I need to work on being more trusting of him and the uber
He walked me out asked me one more time to say I wouldn’t doxx him and give him a hug He also asked that I tell him when I get home safe whatever
The uber ride was actually very sus so I was right lol. The driver tried to make a stop mid ride and only didn’t when I told him my mom was watching our trip anyway I wouldn’t have had to get in the sketchy uber if it wasn’t for Caleb but whatever I was probably safer with that guy then with him.
I actually was really affected by this after I was just so freaked out and confused like the whole experience was so bizarre to me.
I ended up texting Caleb telling him about the uber and asking him to apologize. Which for all that I don’t think is asking too much. And honestly if he said hey I’m really sorry sincerely I think it would have been the end of that but he said
“ I’m headed to bed, and I would prefer not to have a confrontational conversation, but of course I wish the date went better. It’s OK that we don’t vibe, it happens and I apologize for wasting your time. I’m sure you’ll have many successful dates here in Austin!”
Like okay what a nice text. Except that’s not at all what happened. What happened was he misled me to believe he lived closer by. Assured me he wasn’t trying to hookup. Pressured me to take a bath. Got angry when I wouldn’t. Pressured me to get an oil massage. Got angry when I wouldn’t. Then made me take an almost 40 min uber home. Not to mention the weird unwanted touching. That deserves a real apology. I am a real person who deserves human decency and respect treating people like that is not okay.
After that I did talk to some friends about it and everything that happened within a couple minutes they were sending me links to this Reddit and all the videos and evidence of allegations. When I started reading it I literally wanted to throw up.
I guess it’s been going around that he does this kind of stuff a lot. And what he described as “worst date for me too” doesn’t seem like it’s anywhere near the worst date. I found one girls Reddit story that sounded a lot like mine but she wasn’t able to get away and that makes me unbelievable sad for her. I 100% believe the people who have shared their stories on here and feel like this has been going on long enough.
I did report him to hinge, bumble and tinder all with MY STORY.
I did interact with real people via email who all were disgusted and shocked by his behavior saying it DID violate TOS.
I did this for two reasons
It seems like this may be a pattern or formula for Caleb. I don’t want another person to end up in the situation I was in.
Maybe after being banned he will take some time and reflect on his actions and possibly get some help
After all this I had hoped maybe he would be learning from this but he clearly hasn’t. After crashing out on his story about making his own dating app or whatever to using his “platform” or “pull” to get his accounts back he has clearly learned nothing and does not feel sorry.
I am disappointed in the apps that are backtracking on their decisions if what he claims is true but at the end of the day he could always make a new account.
I didn’t do this out of revenge or for clout or whatever it’s actually kind of embarrassing for me to admit that I went on a date with him honestly. My friends have made sure to tell me this.
But I am a real person.
This did really happen.
I deserve a real apology as do many of the other people who have shared their stories.
To Caleb,
Please find God and get help