My boyfriend is not going to his cousin’s wedding because of me.

Hi. So I have been with my Punjabi American boyfriend for about 3.5 years and we’ve talked about getting married but have struggled with his parents not accepting our relationship because I am Hispanic and white. Long story short, we were invited to his cousins wedding in California (we live in New York) and now three weeks before the wedding, his parents are telling him that he needs to go alone or not come at all. So he got into another huge fight with them and said he won’t be going at all if I can’t go. His female cousin (the bride) is like a sister to him and she has been so good to me and invited me herself but now my bf’s dad is in her and her parents ear asking why they would ever invite me and turning them against me and adding extra unnecessary stress and drama to the bride. She hasn’t even replied to my messages. I feel awful that the entire family is fighting because of me and that he is missing his sister cousin wedding. He says that if he goes to the wedding, they will continue to think that we are a joke and they will continue to disrespect me. But deep down I know he wants to see her get married. They’ve threatened with disowning him , if we continue our relationship. But he has stuck to his guns and made it very clear that he will stay with me. one of the reasons they don’t want me marrying into their family is because my parents are divorced so they can’t relate to them or be friends. And because of that I won’t have the “same values” as his parents. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Edit: We looked at engagement rings today so I think we are moving forward. I just feel terrible that he’s missing his cousin’s wedding and I was looking forward to celebrating her marriage. Maybe I should tell him to go without me since this is a once in a lifetime big event for her?

Additional info: I tried to not take it personally but at this point it feels like I am the issue because his cousins married outside of the culture and they were accepted without all of this pushback. I am "just a nurse" and he is a doctor. I gained a little weight while with him and I don't come from money. My parents are also divorced so that seems to be a huge issue for them. I get along with the rest of his family and they seem to love me and l've been nothing but good to everyone including the parents after everything they have done and said about me, including calling me "fat". I’m about the same size as the bride so she was deeply offended when she heard that. So they have definitely hurt my self esteem and have made me feel like l'm not enough.