each...each... EACH!!!

I don't know what is so goddamn perplexing about this concept.

I had virtually this exact same conversation four different times tonight, and I didn't even take that many phone calls.

Thank you for calling Domino's how can I help you?

Yeah, I want to get that deal you got on the phone, the two largest with two toppings for $11.99.

Okay, pick up or delivery?

Delivery.

All right what would you like on those?

Let me get one pepperoni and sausage and the other one Ham and pineapple.

Okay, anything else to go with the order?

Nah, I think two pizzas will do us.

All right, if that's going to be everything your total tonight with tax and delivery included is going to be $31.16 (ish) is that going to be cash or credit tonight?

$31.16?!?!?

Yes sir... $31.16

How the hell do you get that total?

Well that's the total after you add on the sales tax and the delivery fee of $5.49, $31.16

How the hell does $11.99 plus 5 bucks and tax come up to 31 bucks?

Sir.... The pizzas are $11.99 each.... So that's $11.99 Plus $11.99 plus sales tax plus the $5.49 delivery charge.

It doesn't say $11.99 each on the phone, it just says two larges for $11.99.

No sir... It absolutely does not, we have had essentially that same exact deal advertised on the phone literally for years, the only thing that has changed about it is that they used to be $10.99 each but at no time has that price been for two pizzas.

Well what if I come to pick it up? How much is it going to cost then?

It would be $25.66.

Nah, fuck all that... This is bullshit, y'all are just trying to scam us with your false advertising.

All right man, either order it or don't. But I'm not putting up with that. The phone advertisement clearly says that it's $11.99 each, it's not my fault that you don't listen.

At that point he hung up and that was the end of that customer for the night.

I seriously want to know who the hell thinks they're getting two large pizzas for $12