I don’t know if I have aphantasia or not??

When you say that you can create movies in your head is it like… metaphorical somehow??? Because if I had been born with that skill I would never leave my room😭

I thought for a while that “we were all able to see the same things in our heads, but everyone just used different words to describe that process”. I mean I am literally unable to fully describe it myself. It’s so weird.

I think I have a visual memory but at the same time I don’t?? For example I used to draw a lot of symbols and even cartoons to help me memorise info for high school. And it worked. I’m also able to go through my house just in my head, but my mind doesn’t project a video of it. AT ALL. And then it’s also not just an inner monologue (which I have. It never shuts up. There are like 89 browsing tabs open all at once in my brain. Yes I have ADHD).

It’s a secret third thing, like I don’t even know if it’s black or white or in color. Using cinematophotographic terms, I don’t think it’s a matter of saturation, but of… opacity and the length of each frame, maybe? The most accurate description I can give you is this: if I try to picture a fictional character in my head, let’s say an “image” pops up for just a millisecond. But it fades to full black soon because then my brain forces my mind TO DRAW IT ITSELF. Imagine one of these speed draw videos where an artist starts with an empty canvas and a pic for reference, only the pic stays for just half a second and the artist needs to recreate it by heart but every time she finishes working on a layer, said layer disappears before starting the next one. Yeah.

Does anybody relate??