cant orgasm without permission?

this is so weird 😭 but idk where else to ask sorry!

i think i accidentally conditioned myself not to be able to orgasm without permission. for a year and a half my (now ex) bf made me ask for permission before i orgasmed (just some fun bedroom stuff). we stopped seeing each other recently (it was mutual were on good terms dw) and ive realised i cant get myself off without him to tell me im allowed

is this something i can fix? how do i do it, and what can help in the meantime?