Bluetooth auto plays whenever first vonnected...how to disable?

This is NOT Android Auto related.

I'm so sick of being forced to listen to music when bluetooth connects.

Doesn't matter if Spotify or Apple Music, the last app that played music will auto start when bluetooth first connects. My car, my van, my headphones, my earbuds... all auto play. I've searched my kenwood headset...no luck of "device last played".

I've looked in Apple Music, there is NO autoplay setting.