First Steps To Recovery

Dear Community,

I am looking for help and advice. This is a long post but I hope someone will be able to relate and share their thoughts - it would mean the world to me.

I am a 27yo, compulsive gambling addict. For the most part of the last 8 years I have been betting on sports. Had to move jobs, nearly got caught on stealing and pawning multiple items, completely destroyed numerous relationships with family members and partners - all because of my addiction. To state the obvious, I am heavily in debt.

I did seek therapy multiple times. Went to my first therapy (a rehab center) in early 2020 for 2 months and it was successful. I learned how to start turning my life around. Got a job, hit the gym, pursued education. I stayed clean for 20 months.

However, once I relapsed in late 2021 I have never really stopped gambling. Since then, I went to 3 different rehab centers (each of them were 6-8 weeks long stays) and in the meantime I also tried with personal therapists. But I never stopped gambling - I continued lying to everyone around. I never told about all of my loans to anyone; always keeping some debts secret were a "great" excuse for me to keep trying to win the money back.

Earlier this week, my family member (parent) has accidentally found out about my biggest debt that I kept secret from everyone and they confronted me about this. Something inside me cracked and I immediately told them about all the remaining debts I have. It was a relief to let it all go, to be honest.

I genuinely want to stop gambling and start living a good life. I am in no denial that I have a huge problem and I know that I need help.

Now, what I don't really know at this point is what kind of help to seek. I tried rehab centers behind closed walls, I tried GA and I tried individual sessions...
I guess the real problem has been me not really wanting to change my life? Maybe.

What it comes down to right now is:
A) closed therapy (rehab center) for 2 months
B) individual therapy + GA, continuing life in real world

My worry for A) is that while during the stay I won't be able gamble, I also won't start learning how to function in the real world without it. Upon return from each of my previous 3 stays in rehab centers, I went back to gambling straight away... That was despite working hard in therapy and feeling strong about my motivation and tools I could use to stay away from gambling.

My worry for B) is that I won't keep my discipline with being in therapy, using my tools to stay clean, going to meetings and keeping the abstinence = leading to even deeper problems and debt.

There are obviously many other factors at play and I don't expect anyone to give me a straight up answer here, give me a magical pill or tell me exactly what to do now. But if you can relate with any of the above, please don't hesitate to comment and share your honest thoughts. Thank you.