I miss when my phone was broken...

I (18f) have adhd and also a major case of shit life syndrome.

A week ago my phone broke. Nothing special with that, ordered a new one. But those three days without a phone were magical. I came out of my vegetable state, my brain worked again. I could feel things, both good and bad. A lot of bad to be frank. Don't think I've ever cried that much.

Then I got my new phone. And I went right back to being the same addict I was before.

Problem is, I don't have the willpower left to quite a phone addiction. I have so much bullshit on my plate already. I am, quite objectively without a moral judgment, not strong enough.

When my phone was broken I didn't need to exert any willpower because.. well.. even if I wanted to I couldn't use it. I want to through my phone in the river. But in our society you need it to be able to function.

I still live at home and I still go to school so my margine of impact I have on my life is so minimal. Hence my shit life syndrome.

I just miss when it was broken.