I've been feeling a strong wave of bloodlust and I want information on how to better manage it.

To me, bloodlust is a deep and overwhelming desire to cause harm to others. I can feel it simmering in my chest. While I have outlets to manage these urges, I know that I won’t always have access to them. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but for some reason, I also experience an animalistic urge to harm people. Though I’m not a threat to anyone around me, as I have learned ways to manage it, my methods aren't perfect. If I were to lose those outlets, or if I lost the will to resist, the situation could change. I want to improve my control over these urges. In fact, I want information on how to manage them to be publicly available. I’ll explain my reasoning further below, but first, let me provide more context on my situation.

I’ve been feeling bloodlust for as long as I can remember. In most circumstances, it has been small and easy to control. However, there have been times when it was hard to manage, especially when my anger only intensified the feeling. Despite this, I have always tried to avoid acting on it violently. To help build a strong moral framework, I researched morality and philosophy. This helped me ensure I wouldn’t hurt others. However, I didn’t only learn how to restrain myself; I also discovered ways to justify acts of extreme violence and brutality. After considering both sides, I’ve come to believe that violence is a tool to be used sparingly, and only by someone who is well-educated and has exhausted all other options—someone who ensures there is no alternative that avoids loss of life.

I once confided in a licensed therapist about my urges, but unfortunately, her suspicious behavior caused me to stop being fully honest with her. I did discuss my struggles and what I hoped to gain from therapy, but I always stopped short when I felt that I might say something that could be misunderstood or put me in danger. I found myself walking on eggshells with someone I was supposed to trust, and as a result, I stopped going to therapy.

I believe that others might be in a similar position. When they search for a solution to help themselves, I want them to find the answers I’ve been unable to discover. Managing my bloodlust has required a lot of effort, and there are things I can never unsee or forget that have helped me feel confident in my ability to control it. However, with this recent wave of urges, I want to feel less strained and at peace with my mind and my craving for violence. I want others who feel the same way to also find peace and the answers they’ve been seeking. I will share my own techniques, ones that are rarely discussed, and I will also post any new methods I come across. Thank you in advance.