I feel like I ruined my life by reverting

Astaghfirullah for even saying this and especially during Ramadan. I am a revert of almost two years now alhamdulillah. When I first found Islam, I was so happy to find the community I always wanted as a Christian and I had so many beautiful moments where I knew Islam was the answer. I never missed a prayer and I went straight into wearing the hijab. After I reverted, my job soon fired me without any explanation. I worked for a zionist so no surprise there. It was a really good paying job that would have catapulted me into even better paying jobs, but now after a temporary job, I’m unemployed and cleaning houses to pay rent. I have a masters degree and an impressive resume, and no job will hire me after I interview. I can’t help but wonder if I would get hired if I didn’t wear hijab. I used to model as well, and I was building a great portfolio that again if I just kept going I know I’d be really successful right now. Not to mention nearly all of my friends abandoned me after I reverted too. I lost all my Christian friends and most of my other friends. And I haven’t done well making other Muslim friends. I feel very alone. I miss the life I could have had if I never reverted. It’s been almost two years and I still haven’t told my family I’m Muslim because I know they will disown me. I even recently took off the hijab and I only wear it to the mosque or when I’m praying, which honestly I don’t do a lot anymore. I’m lucky if I get 3/5 prayers in a day. I haven’t woken up for a single Suhoor, but I am fasting. Yesterday I finally went to the mosque in my city for Iftar, and I felt so awkward and out of place. I often feel like I have imposter syndrome in mosques now and like I don’t belong there. I used to be excited thinking about growing and getting older and raising a Muslim family and now it feels like everything would be easier if I stopped. I still talk about God but my faith is hanging by a thread. More often than not I feel like an atheist in a head scarf. I miss really believing and I don’t know where I lost my faith. I’m lost and feel so torn about what to do. Mostly I just feel sad. I need some good advice because really I feel like I’m so close to abandoning my faith and I know I don’t want to do that but this is such a hard feeling and it has lasted for weeks. Any advice is welcome, thank you for reading.