The Hospital Matron Whipped Me With a Ruler
This has taken quite a lot of writing and re-writing to make sure that I don't dox myself but I also am still struggling to come to terms with what happened this weekend.
I am a non-European who came to England in 2020 to help the country. I had a good income in my native country and a steady job that I could have continued with there, but I wanted to help in a system that had universal healthcare. To come here I ended up stepping down in role, but I thought that it was worth it for the help that I would be giving to people. I've worked long rotas, done many exams (PLAB, MRCP, PG Certs) to try and garner some respect and be able to treat everyone I meet with the upmost knowledge and dignity. I learned English and I almost fluent in it. I have even worked a 32 hour shift once for no pay when the night shift doctor did not turn up. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel that I've earned my place in the profession despite not being from here.
This weekend I was covering the wards in the hospital which is a mixture of set jobs and any "urgent tasks" that come through from nurses and other doctors. There is a MedReg but they are usually busy taking referrals and the consultant back of hour (on a Sunday) is non-resident from 2pm.
It had been a busy day and I still had lots of jobs to do on my list when the Matron bleeped me three times to go a discharge letter ("to maintain the bed flow"). At the time I was seeing someone who was unwell - hypotensive, tachycardic with a new oxygen requirement so I said that I would try when I was done seeing those who were medically unwell. An hour passed and I was bleeped again. 30 more minutes and I was called on my personal mobile by the same person.
"This discharge letter needs done now". She was raising her voice - almost shouting at me down the phone. I said that I would try and do it once some urgent bloods had been done on the ward. Admittedly two or three hours had passed but on a busy weekend the jobs stack up.
Two minutes later she turned up on the ward and dragged me physically away from the nurses station to the drug room. The other nursing staff must have known something was up because they all turned away and averted their gaze. She stood in front of the door (now locked and closed) and started berating me.
"Don't ever disrespect me again. If I ask you to do something - do it."
"I've dealt with your kind before"
"You doctors always seem to think that you are too good for us."
"The British doctors are leaving because of people like you degrading the profession"
It all went so fast that I can only remember chunks, but after what must have been two or three minutes she took a thick ruler out of her notebook, raised it in the air and then slammed it down against my buttock.
In the days that I have followed I've found myself questioning why she done this. I wondered if she meant to catch the desk behind as a warning? Did she mean to do it more gently like a tap? Is this something that has happened before?
I don't know the answer. What I did know was that where she had struck became numb for about 20 seconds before a surge of throbbing pain came through. She left me alone as I started crying knelt down on the cold floor. I'd not felt anything like this in a long time - the last time I had been physically punished like this was when I was a child. I still cannot walk without a limp and it happened three days ago. The area has bruised purple/yellow. I struggled to drive home from work. I struggle to get up the stairs. I called in sick to work today because I physically cannot do it.
Emotionally I don't know if I could ever get over the shame of experiencing this. After I summoned the strength to get up from the floor that Sunday and leave I heard the nurses behind me sniggering and laughing. This was funny to them. Funny to see a 32 year old professional be physically beaten. There is no humanity here anymore.
This told me more than enough about working in this country. I had come to help all those years ago but now - I've decided that once my contract it up I will be moving back. This country is more stuck in the past that I had realised. It reminded me of a quote I that had been read to us on our diversity day the first week I had worked in the NHS.
“What's the point of having a voice if you're gonna be silent in those moments you shouldn't be?”
And you know what I have learned in my years here? Silence permeates throughout the NHS.
********UPDATE*********
Wow I didn't expect this to blow up
I want to thank everyone who has responded to this thread. I've used a throwaway account and I honestly thought that no one would even bother to read this- I am incredibly surprised. I know there are doubters here but this is always the case in these scenarios (just look at any celebrity domestic abuse or rape allegation)
After advice from u/stuartbman (who was quickest off the mark amongst others) I have reported events to the Police and they have actually seen to me quicker than expected. I had not even realised that this was an option this morning (it certainly wouldn't be even looked at in my home country) so this advice has particularly helped. I'm still looking to return back to my home country at the end of the year but the resilience/humility and unity shown amongst British doctors will always remain with me.
Honestly from the bottom of my heart I thank you all.