Holding off on sex… but why?

Juu ni weekend na kuna venye I am curious inspired by a post i saw here.. Let's discuss something.

Okay before y’all come for me, let’s get some things straight. I’m not talking about abstinence for religious reasons, purity culture, or personal values. That’s your choice, and I respect it. I’m specifically talking about when you like or even love someone but still hold off on sex as some kind of test or strategy.

Personally, sex isn’t even about the man for me. I do it because I love it, I enjoy it, and when I hold off, I feel like I’m just punishing myself. Like si mimi ni mtu mkubwa mbona nijinyime vitu and I clearly want it and still have access to it? It’s like being hungry, having food right in front of you, and saying, “No, I need to wait a few months to make sure I really want to eat.” Like… seriously, why? If I want it, I want it 🤷‍♀️.

I get that some people worry about sex “clouding judgment” or want to make sure a guy is really there for them. But to me, that’s just delaying the inevitable. If a dude is gonna disappear post-sex, he was gonna do that anyway, hata kama mko date three or month three.

So to the women who wait, why? What’s the reasoning? Does it actually work for you? Or are you just making yourself suffer for nothing?

And for men, what’s your take? Does having sex earlier on change things for you? Be honest 👀.

EDIT... I am also not asking about random sex.. that's perfectly fine too but mimi my question is based of when you are dating or in a relationship.