Am I not cut out for this?

Hi, so this is my first time here, and my first time in a ldr. I honestly don't even know where to begin, but I (30f) have been dating my boyfriend for a pretty short time (a month to be exact). We've been talking and grew to be friends a few months before he asked me out however. Forgive me now if I sound a mess I'm struggling to sort out my thoughts with my ADHD and trying very hard to control my emotions over this. So we live halfway across the world from each other and have a 12hr difference so when he messages me in the morning (usually between 10am-12pm) I'm getting ready for bed for work the next day, and well when I message him after I wake up around like 6am he's, well I don't really know what he's up to also want to add that many nights I've stayed up waiting to hear from him to make time for us and lately he doesn't even message me during his day anymore. I feel like despite him telling me all the time how he misses me and that I always brighten his days that his actions don't really align. At first I was fine with weekdays us barely talking because again time difference and we're both busy, and I convinced myself I was being too obsessed checking my phone constantly to make sure I don't miss him during my day when he wasn't doing the same. However the weekends arrive and I still barely hear from him. I just feel like I'm going crazy, and we've talked about it and he's apologizedany times for the neglect, but it hasn't gotten any better and I just don't want to become the annoying girlfriend so I've stopped trying to change it. I just can't figure out anymore what to do because I really care about him, and I can't tell if I'm the problem for over thinking this or if my feelings are actually valid. Side note: I also have disorganized attachment so this situation is really triggering those patterns in me and I just don't want to ruin this if there is a possibility for a bright future for us. I'm really trying here. 😔

I have so many more things I want to say but he's such a good guy outside of this communication issue. And when he used to have more time to talk to me, I'd never met a man who was so patient and considerate, and when I was too afraid to say how I felt about anything he never hesitated to give me the comfortable space to actually open up to him and never invalidated my feelings when I did. I just wish that if maybe something is going on with him now he would tell me, because I want to be the person for him that he was for me, and this just doesn't seem like the person I've grown so close to these past months.

Any advice please without being too mean I'm already an emotional wreck as is. 🥲