Realisations of sexual pressures in narcissistic relationship

I just wanted to see if anyone else experienced this. I feel like I completely ignored my gut feeling for years and that I knew a lot of the behaviour wasn’t okay.

99% of any physical contact would be groping me, making sexual comments, initiating sex or it would lead to sex. I cannot think of a time where there was just a hug or we never led in bed and cuddled he didn’t like to do that. Sometimes this would be constant one day and absolutely nothing the next it was never consistent.

Sometimes I would be woken up in the mornings with him trying it on with me, my body language showed I was just trying to rest and sometimes I’d say I’m trying to sleep. This would then result in silent treatment, him acting pissed off and left the bedroom making it obvious he was annoyed and him being off with me for hours/days with hardly any communication. I dreaded this because I used too feel so lonely and get upset.

This happened so much I started to dread going to bed incase there was an expectation and if I didn’t do what he wanted, the comments would start about how we don’t ever do it enough or I don’t do certain things to him. This would sometimes be in a ‘jokey’ way but it would be constantly repeated so it wasn’t so much a joke and it wasn’t something you need to joke about. Sometimes even infront of friends. Sometimes if I was asleep before him this would also be a problem and going upstairs earlier if I wanted to rest after a long day.

I feel like I’m going crazy second guessing myself and get thoughts that it wasn’t that bad as I have now left this relationship. But this was only one part of it and I feel like this was one of the most damaging.