Do married people have a go-to person?

34 F here. I come from a household where there was not much learning about how a healthy relationship functions or works through conflict so I don't know if the way I try to communicate with my husband is effective at all. I have tried to bring up situations to different people in the past and wind up receiving a shallow response or words of separation. I wish I had someone who understood him and I well enough that could help me communicate more effectively and understand his words better. How do healthy relationships do this?