Slut shaming and the perception of male sexuality
Hey there,
I just wanted to share an insight I recently had discussing with my wife.
I, as a dude, grew up hating my sexuality. I perceived it as ugly, dirty, sullying, aggressive, invasive... every single bad adjective you can think of, I applied to my desire of women.
To this day, it's something that hinders me. I'm in a relationship, but were I single, the idea of expressing to a woman that I am interested in her is somewhat akin to a crime in my mind. And the more I talk about it on reddit, the more I realize quite a lot of men have the same perception of their sexuality. We want women, therefore we are bad.
What I realized is how it articulates with slut-shaming. Slut shaming is a despicable practice, but it's rooted in hate for the male sexuality, that I knew.
But, in the end, slut-shaming is not shaming a woman for acting upon her desires. It's shaming a woman for enabling a man's desires. That's the important nuance.
We seldom slut-shame women who engage in lesbian intercourse. It is heterosexual sex that is frowned upon. And worse, gay sex is seen as the pinnacle of disgusting behavior (there's a reason gay people were killed by nazis but not lesbians).
What do you think of it? The nuance is small, but I think it's very important. And it speaks to the hypocrisy of saying "male sexuality is celebrated". This is the opposite of what I experienced, and it infuriates me.