hating my reflection

So this is super normal for trans ppl ik but I hat can’t get over how ugly I feel allllll the time. Like at work for example, people don’t tend to gender me at all and if they do it’ll be he/him unfortunately… I see myself as more nonbinary and I’m on HRT and stuff but getting called a man or brother or anything sets me off and idk how to get over that yk. I always feel like the people who’d wanna hookup with me are lying too, like there’s no way in hell this many random men find me hot in any way.

MAYBE I’m crazy but between hookup people saying I’m pretty and customers at work misgendering me, it’s really confusing and makes it feel like anybody who likes anything about my body is lying. I’m sure this is normal but I’m really sick of crying about it all the time. I can’t change my fucking skeleton. I’m not asking for much I just hate the looks and the staring, it makes me feel so worthless ig. I’ve never just started at someone when I didn’t know what to call them like it’s not that hard. Also I live in the Bible Belt soooo that’s not helping. Might start wearing a mask to work ngl.

This was super al over the place but yeah… how do you cope with not being able to fit into the cishet Eurocentric beauty standard for femininity?