Deflated

Evening all! I just wanted to let something out as it's been bothering me a little bit. I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl at 31+1 on the 22nd January... through out my pregnancy it's been one thing after the other with myself, I'm Diabetic, have liver and kidney complications and those caused elevated numbers after birth too, I developed preeclampsia and HEELP hence why I had to give birth early. So long story short, when it came to breastfeeding, I haven't managed much at most I got a full syringe a couple of times and a few drops here and there, all in all I feel mentally and physically I've been through a lot and feel all the medication I was given and still taking may be causing lack of breast milk also. Am I a bad mom if I stop with trying? I feel pumping also takes away from me spending all my time by her side in Nicu. I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself but I can't help but feel a little bit guilty. :(