Nurse wouldn’t let me hold my baby because it “disrupts her sleep” and “she needs to learn to self soothe”.

First time posting here. I’m so upset right now and need to know if this is a normal protocol. My baby is 38 weeks right now (born at 33 weeks). She is technically graduated from the NICU and they have her in what they call the Special Care room which is basically for feeders and growers. For the last month our routine has been that I come during her 11am care time/feed, hold her until her 2pm care time and stay for about an hour after to feed/burp her etc. Up until today I have had no problem doing that and no nurse has said anything or raised any concerns.

Well today, while I was holding my baby (she likes to be upright after feeds cause of reflux so I usually just have her on my chest and she zonks out) the nurse who is taking care of her told me to put her back in the bassinet so I could “grab some lunch” when I told her that I’m ok she said “well it’s not for you it’s for her. She needs to get some deep sleep before her next feed.” She then proceeded to tell me that she needs to start acting like the big girl she is and learn how to self soothe. Also that I’m not going to be able to hold her for all her naps when she comes home so we wouldn’t want her “getting used to it”. Wtf?? Is this normal? Honestly I feel like the best sleep she’s gotten has been with me. I was so taken aback I set her down in the bassinet and just left.

The nurse is a dinosaur btw who’s been in the NICU for 42 years. I didn’t fight back because she’s the nurse who will be on schedule for the next 5 days and I didn’t want to do or say anything that I would regret and have to see her all weekend.

Now I’m just sitting in my car crying cause this whole thing just sucks. Not just her not letting me hold my baby but just everything. You guys understand.

Am I overreacting? Is this a thing?

Update: Came back to the room after “lunch” but was stopped by another NICU nurse asking if I was ok cause I guess it was obvious I had been crying. I told her what happened and she was pretty upset about it and I guess went to the charge nurse herself cause when I was sitting in the chair next to my baby the older nurse said “well I guess I’ve been reassigned” and I’m just sitting in the corner like 👀.