how do i stop feeling like i’m the narcissist?

dated a narcissist for 7 years. finally ended it 3 months ago. he broke me in every way possible and i’ve been trying to find myself again since then.

but now i can’t stop thinking that i was the abusive one. i reacted back. i did and said so many things that i’m still trying to forgive myself for. like i just keep thinking i was the problem throughout our relationship and i was the one projecting onto him.

does this feeling ever go away?