Reminder for all the FTMs

Saw this on IG and it hit home:

An apology to my first baby, for the mom that I was.

I'm sorry that I spent more time tracking your naps than I did your smiles. / I'm sorry I greeted so many of your wakeups with frustration that you were awake instead of delight to see you again. / I'm sorry I worried more about future problems (sleep regressions, developmental leaps) than present joy. / I'm sorry I spent more time trying to "train" you than I did basking in the wonder of who you actually are. / I'm sorry I cared more about how many black and white cards I showed you, and not the flowers and clouds and trees I should have shown you instead. / I'm sorry I held back because I was worried about creating bad habits, when all you wanted and needed was to be held. / I'm sorry I put more importance on the minutes you didn't nap that day, than on the minutes you laughed. / I'm sorry I didn't let you be you, wonderful perfect marvelous you. / I'm sorry I didn't let me be me, the mother I so desperately wanted to be, and yo desperately deserved, because I was so worried about doing it "right".

I'm sorry it took me so long to figure this out, but I promise i will never forget it.