Unable to penetrate my wife

It’s been almost two years and me and my wife have been unable to have penetrative sex and it’s bothering us both

We both have a high libido and engage in a lot of outercourse , foreplay but when I’m fully erect I’m unable to penetrate her . It literally feels like I’m jamming my dick against a brick and the sensation is unpleasant which causes my penis to deflate a little after repeated thrusts of about a minute or two

I don’t have any major issues with arousal and my wife’s gynae suspects a case of vagnismus or her being scared of penetration

My wife does have a fear of sharp objects such as injections or knives and she feels that too plays a role

We are looking for some other gynaes or therapists that can help

I also feel that perhaps I’m a bit too girthy down there

I don’t have a giant dong but I do feel that it’s definitely a bit on the thicker side whereas my wife is a bit smol in height and body measurements . Is it possible for genital incompatibility?