im not okay..

my ex messaged me today and said he wanted to talk about what happened before and that he wants to clarify things. we talked and i didn't believe what he told me at first but then he said he's on the phone with his ex and he sent me a screenshot and i still didn't believe him so his ex messaged me on facebook and let me know he didnt cheat on me and that he did not two-time both of us

if this is true i feel terrible it means i ruined my own relationship. it was me and my paranoia all along but idk he lied to me about a lot of things and i have proof of it but i dont know what to believe in anymore. a part of me thinks it was him using her phone but i dont know anymore. i blocked him everywhere

i need to talk to my psychiatrist soon my paranoia is out of control. if this is true it was me all along and i hate myself