Husband not understanding of teenagers

Hello Reddit!

My husband is 47 and I am 45.

We have two kids: son is 16 and daughter is 13.

He has been a present and understanding father all their lives and until recently I had nothing really to have issues with on his end.

Until kids hit teenager years.

My husband is a successful man but while I love him, he is very much a straight edge guy. He never partied, took drugs or had sex with anyone but me. Turned down invitations for parties; as a whole, he didn’t really experience what many see aa typical teen stuff or university life.

This is further complicated by the fact that he has extremely liberal parents but he has a so-so relationship with them as he resents his upbringing. He felt they were generally too much “you can be anything you want and we will be proud of you” which frustrated him. When he wanted to push himself harder and wished his parents had worked more to instill a disciplined lifestyle on him; they usually had a more “relax man” attitude or “you need to feel what life has to offer”. To this day he is mildly upset that he won a national award in his field and basically got the same “pride” as his siblings holding a minimum wage job for a year.

Back to the kids.

They love him and admire him I’d say. Very much a “I want to be like my father” way but the frictions are difficult as he is 0 understanding of what I feel is normal teen stuff (at least from my pov). He refuses they go to any party, very strict on school and being “cultured and well-read”, worries about sex (at least he worries equally for both son and daughter… he said himself it was important to be equally strict for both son and daughter in order to be fair…) and basically saying “all parents want to give their kids what they wish they could have had”.

Not sure what to do to reason with him. Anyone has faced this?

TLDR: Husband is super strict with teenagers and he has no frame of reference of what “fun” or “being a teen is” to reason with.