Fired two months ago. Want to end it all.

Fired two months ago as PGY3 resident before going to PGY4 year. Was placed on remediation end of second year and kept trying to improve. Will be the first to admit I made mistakes. Not the best resident by any means but did what i could to improve.

Going back into the match and looking for open spots is bringing me anxiety and stress. Difficulty sleeping, concentrating, lack of enjoyment on doing things.

Significant guilt in myself and for letting myself down. Do not want to leave medicine but i just want to sleep forever and not have to deal with this pain and suffering