Song lyric feedback?
Never posted here. Never wrote a song. But life is getting heavy and therapy is expensive so I started writing ideas down. Tonight I just let my pen roll.
Not finished. Probably pretty cheesy and a little too concrete (I’m not very creative/abstract). Someone said “write TO someone” so I pictured my daughter.
Not looking to profit or perform. Just looking for ideas to improve my writing.
So, here goes nothin’…..
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Genre: Country
Untitled
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Verse ideas:
Alarm starts to shake but I’m already awake
It’s time to start the climb
Ignore my sore back, gotta keep life on track
But that anger fills my mind
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I’ve got a great life - two kids and a wife
So what’s with all this rage?
When I was a kid I just did what I did
And now, I feel trapped in a cage
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It’s not cuz of you, what I put myself through
It’s just how old men are
We take the weight of the Earth like I have since your birth
Without love, it wouldn’t be so hard
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Chorus ideas:
I wear my sweat on my sleeve
Cuz my heart’s taking leave
I may need some rest
but the weight on my chest
Sure makes it hard to breathe
OR
I wear my sweat on my sleeve
Cuz my heart needs to breathe
But it’s just my life’s fate
To take on the weight
So I just lift with my knees