Is it normal to want approval from BM?

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 4 years. I met the BM sometime in the first year. She named me Bonus Mom as my contact information in her phone. This warmed my heart. I think my feelings of wanting her approval were normal at first. Last year my boyfriend and the BM went to court regarding placement. It was very stressful for my boyfriend and I'm sure for the BM. However, ever since the beginning of the court I found myself questioning anything and everything I say or act towards her way more. We only talk about logistical stuff when we do communicate. Drop off/pick up is also only about logistics if needed. The focus is on the kids anyway. I don't like the way I overthink about how to response to basic texts and what not. Is this a common phase? Or is it just a me thing? :)